The entire ride home my mind has been having a conversation with itself. And it got so intense that I almost missed my station, twice.
Dysfunctional. Blurred. Mixed. Confused. These barely describe what I have been going through lately. Too many emotions coming together. Emotionally drained and feel like I'm going to either break down or pass out any second. Major cramps, severe eye allergy and a bad hair day is not helping matters. The year has reached its final lap and '09 is going to be over in less than 10 days. It's been a good one overall. I have changed in more ways than one and not only on the outside. I no longer hang out with the same people anymore, my playlist does not have the songs which I once used to love,have gained a lot of weight[ :-( ], my priorities have changed, I'm even more clueless about my journey, a lot of people have made their way into my life.. and a few have said their silent goodbyes. There have been a lot of tears and even more smiles, many celebrations, many events that might have changed me in ways that can't be altered. The people who I look upto are no longer the same, the problems I once had seem so silly now...and yes, its been a good year.
When I was leaving school, a lot of people told me, " Don't ever change".. Is it possible for a person to not change? I mean really.. we all do...change somehow, for better and maybe sometimes for the worse.
There is a lot going on inside me which I needed to pour out. I could have called up any of my best friends who would have more than eagerly listened to me vent out. But today, i just needed to talk to someone who would not given any opinion, none at all. And hence the reason for the post.
I feel I'm growing up. This may make a lot of people I know laugh their ass off ( shoe size 3 and growing up it seem! ). But I can really feel it. Have been handling things which are way beyond my maturity level and then having a lot of frustration to deal way. Have been very short tempered lately.. have hurt a lot of people who mean the world to me and haven't been able to bring myself to apologize to them.
Basically, growing up sucks! Yes you are old enough to drive and smoke and get married and have sex and party and all that. But once you do actually 'grow up' the world which was once a perfect place starts showing its true colors.. You realize that sometimes, mom's hug cannot solve everything, that sometimes even your best friends are going to let you down, that sometimes the people who you 'love' are going to shatter you ( but then put you back together also), that people lie- all the time, hardly anyone ever says what they mean, people are going to die, you are gonna get hurt, that sometimes the pain is going to be too much, and sometimes love is not going to be enough.
No, I'm not a pessimist. I'm just being practical. :)
Monday, December 21, 2009
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
You know your DU vacations are going on when..
1. You have a 20 day break from college,and you know exactly how to utilize this precious time. (Do you?)
2. Your planning fails on the second day of vacations.
3. You read the Delhi Times twice just to idle out another 20 minutes.
4. You update your FB status message 10 times a day and then wonder why people say that you are addicted to facebook.
5. You take a random picture of yours, edit it, put stickers and text in it, crop it, make some more corrections in it, add a really nice frame, repeat the same with 2-3 more pics, make a collage out of it. And delete it.
6. You text all your friends some random forward message and then wait for the phone to vibrate expecting them to reply. *Sigh*
7. You call up Vodafone just to have someone to talk to. (Ok! now that sounds desperate. I never actually did that. :P)
8. You countdown the days until when the college reopens. :D
9. You search the lyrics of some random song you heard on the radio, download it, put it in your cell and listen to it all day long.
10. You make a huge deal about your tuition's and brag about your 1 hour of studying for 2-3 days.. :P
11. You watch Big boss, Exhasted, Dare to date and Pati Pantni aur woh, in succession, with interest. And then wonder why people make such senseless serials and on top of that why do people watch it. *Clears throat*
12. Open the fridge twenty times a day expecting something good to magically appear out of thin air, then give up and just order a pizza.
13. Take pointless quizzes on facebook.
14. Make elaborate plans to meet with your friends, watch movies, have a blast. Yawn and just login to facebook again.
15. Go through random people's pictures, comment on each one of them labeling them as either a slut or a bore.
16. Watch Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na/ Jab We Met/ RHTDM every time it airs even if it is the 99th time that you're watching it.
17. Take unnecessarily long showers and then complain about the water shortage and how people waste so much of water and remain unconcerned about the environment.
18. Go to the mall just to buy a new pair of Reebok tracks promising yourself that you're gonna start regular walks the next morning. Or evening was it? Oh no.. next week. Umm...which tracks? Reebok? Never heard of them before. Mummy....sone do please...kal se pakka walk.
19. You write an entire post on how bored you are.
20. Now you are gonna make every one read it. :P
2. Your planning fails on the second day of vacations.
3. You read the Delhi Times twice just to idle out another 20 minutes.
4. You update your FB status message 10 times a day and then wonder why people say that you are addicted to facebook.
5. You take a random picture of yours, edit it, put stickers and text in it, crop it, make some more corrections in it, add a really nice frame, repeat the same with 2-3 more pics, make a collage out of it. And delete it.
6. You text all your friends some random forward message and then wait for the phone to vibrate expecting them to reply. *Sigh*
7. You call up Vodafone just to have someone to talk to. (Ok! now that sounds desperate. I never actually did that. :P)
8. You countdown the days until when the college reopens. :D
9. You search the lyrics of some random song you heard on the radio, download it, put it in your cell and listen to it all day long.
10. You make a huge deal about your tuition's and brag about your 1 hour of studying for 2-3 days.. :P
11. You watch Big boss, Exhasted, Dare to date and Pati Pantni aur woh, in succession, with interest. And then wonder why people make such senseless serials and on top of that why do people watch it. *Clears throat*
12. Open the fridge twenty times a day expecting something good to magically appear out of thin air, then give up and just order a pizza.
13. Take pointless quizzes on facebook.
14. Make elaborate plans to meet with your friends, watch movies, have a blast. Yawn and just login to facebook again.
15. Go through random people's pictures, comment on each one of them labeling them as either a slut or a bore.
16. Watch Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na/ Jab We Met/ RHTDM every time it airs even if it is the 99th time that you're watching it.
17. Take unnecessarily long showers and then complain about the water shortage and how people waste so much of water and remain unconcerned about the environment.
18. Go to the mall just to buy a new pair of Reebok tracks promising yourself that you're gonna start regular walks the next morning. Or evening was it? Oh no.. next week. Umm...which tracks? Reebok? Never heard of them before. Mummy....sone do please...kal se pakka walk.
19. You write an entire post on how bored you are.
20. Now you are gonna make every one read it. :P
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Simple pleasures of a complicated Life.
We are back people. And I truly apologize to the two and half people who follow my blog and might have noticed my absence. It gives me great pleasure to announce that my blog has turned 2. :)[And it hurts me, physically HURTS me that I forgot and am a month late to wish the poor little thing].
My blog isn't the only one whose growing up by the way. Ahem ahem. I've been told that being subtle works wonders. So all I'm going to say is. All kinds of gifts welcomed, make this wonderful day special for me (okay. I'm completely overboard).
So yea, I'm going to be an "Adult" in less than 3 days. Which should make me what.. Super excited? All enthu? Riding on cloud nine? But no. I don't feel anything. I'm numb. Comfortably Numb.No, I'm not cribbing or complaining and It's not like I don;t have any plans.. but I guess being an adult is completely over rated. There isn;t a lot you can do which you weren't already doing anyway. I mean yea, I can drive..and Vote (okay..whatever makes you happy. *rolls eyes*), And smoke (Umm..?) And yea as Nikita suggested, we both can run away from home now. LOL. Think big I say. :)
I don't really have any excuse for my absence, and no reasons also. Just that, was too caught up with all the changes that I just couldn't bring myself to pen it all down. You basically know the 'changes' i'm referring to,don't you? I mean the same stuff. School ko tata bye-bye and college ko hello. how are you.
Now, not only have we accepted that we are Ramus (so much for a low self esteem). Ahem. Ramjas-ites. (whatever). We have actually become a part of it. I mean,the cheesy hindi songs,the afternoon's on staircases, the subah subah ka naashta in the corridor and the table banging and cheering during elections. Man. I miss the elections. The way those 'Studs' entered the class with marigold garlands around their neck, in white shirts, well tucked in and folded hands full toosh neta ishtyle and say in a very high pitched squeaky voice.."Hallo FrAnds".Hahahhahahahahha.
okay Amanat, your blog is not hidden or anything, some people do take a glance sometimes so you need to shut up. The whole 'Ramjas is a railway station' thing got pretty out of hand. :P
Well...basically I'm sitting here, updating you people about my recent past when my recent future is in deep shit. Need to work on the eco soc logo, finish two reports one each of english and endi soc and submit the abstract for Saesm very soon.Also, need to start tuition hunting and on a serious note, need to start studying. I get these horrified looks from middle aged aunties and uncles when they find out I've opted for (ahem ahem) (clears throat), B.A.(Hons) Economics and giving me this really concerned looks they tell me, "Beta. Ye to bada tough course le liya tumne.Achha hai,dil lagake padai karo" Yawn.
So basically in a very few days, I'll finally shed my 'Teenage' tag and enter into the 'Adult' world. Really looking forward to the life on the other side. But seriously, if you think i;m gonna "grow up" like magically in one day then just..dream on. Because I like being lame, I like being dumb and I'm NOT even a little bit embarrassed when me and nikita have an entire conversation on Zaya, Zzkriti, Neeraz and Pankaz. These are the simple pleasures of my life which I'm not ready to give up..just as yet!
My blog isn't the only one whose growing up by the way. Ahem ahem. I've been told that being subtle works wonders. So all I'm going to say is. All kinds of gifts welcomed, make this wonderful day special for me (okay. I'm completely overboard).
So yea, I'm going to be an "Adult" in less than 3 days. Which should make me what.. Super excited? All enthu? Riding on cloud nine? But no. I don't feel anything. I'm numb. Comfortably Numb.No, I'm not cribbing or complaining and It's not like I don;t have any plans.. but I guess being an adult is completely over rated. There isn;t a lot you can do which you weren't already doing anyway. I mean yea, I can drive..and Vote (okay..whatever makes you happy. *rolls eyes*), And smoke (Umm..?) And yea as Nikita suggested, we both can run away from home now. LOL. Think big I say. :)
I don't really have any excuse for my absence, and no reasons also. Just that, was too caught up with all the changes that I just couldn't bring myself to pen it all down. You basically know the 'changes' i'm referring to,don't you? I mean the same stuff. School ko tata bye-bye and college ko hello. how are you.
Now, not only have we accepted that we are Ramus (so much for a low self esteem). Ahem. Ramjas-ites. (whatever). We have actually become a part of it. I mean,the cheesy hindi songs,the afternoon's on staircases, the subah subah ka naashta in the corridor and the table banging and cheering during elections. Man. I miss the elections. The way those 'Studs' entered the class with marigold garlands around their neck, in white shirts, well tucked in and folded hands full toosh neta ishtyle and say in a very high pitched squeaky voice.."Hallo FrAnds".Hahahhahahahahha.
okay Amanat, your blog is not hidden or anything, some people do take a glance sometimes so you need to shut up. The whole 'Ramjas is a railway station' thing got pretty out of hand. :P
Well...basically I'm sitting here, updating you people about my recent past when my recent future is in deep shit. Need to work on the eco soc logo, finish two reports one each of english and endi soc and submit the abstract for Saesm very soon.Also, need to start tuition hunting and on a serious note, need to start studying. I get these horrified looks from middle aged aunties and uncles when they find out I've opted for (ahem ahem) (clears throat), B.A.(Hons) Economics and giving me this really concerned looks they tell me, "Beta. Ye to bada tough course le liya tumne.Achha hai,dil lagake padai karo" Yawn.
So basically in a very few days, I'll finally shed my 'Teenage' tag and enter into the 'Adult' world. Really looking forward to the life on the other side. But seriously, if you think i;m gonna "grow up" like magically in one day then just..dream on. Because I like being lame, I like being dumb and I'm NOT even a little bit embarrassed when me and nikita have an entire conversation on Zaya, Zzkriti, Neeraz and Pankaz. These are the simple pleasures of my life which I'm not ready to give up..just as yet!
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Half-Alive
I feel as if the dark and misty clouds have finally lifted and I can see clearly again. The blurred vision has come to focus and my unsettled life is back to rest.
First things first. Sincere apologies for my absence. Okay.. very long absence. Fine.Alright stop whining now, I apologized, didn't I? :P
So after the mournful whining over Ramjas, I've finally settled here. Made and amazing bunch of friends..and I'm at some level relieved that I don't have to transfer and start all over again.
So, I'm alive and well..I hope you're glad to hear that.. more to come very soon. :)
First things first. Sincere apologies for my absence. Okay.. very long absence. Fine.Alright stop whining now, I apologized, didn't I? :P
So after the mournful whining over Ramjas, I've finally settled here. Made and amazing bunch of friends..and I'm at some level relieved that I don't have to transfer and start all over again.
So, I'm alive and well..I hope you're glad to hear that.. more to come very soon. :)
Friday, June 26, 2009
That's not the way I want my story to end.
I have been silent about my whereabouts for quite some time now. And when people (read one person) started screaming at me to UPDATE my blog, I knew it was time to start writing (read whining).
So..last you heard from me was that my SET (symbiosis entrance test) score was pathetic and I had whined and complained and grumbled. So, bascially, a LOT has changed since then.
22nd May brought with it a new ray of hope..(AHEM).
Okay, 22nd may brought with it the CBSE 2009 Board Result.To cut a long story short my best of four subjects is 94% (cool hun..? read on..) and I stood third in school with a 93%.
*Waits for an applause*
*Still waiting*....
*sighs! And gives up*
And with my ego inflated I proudly walked the halls of SRCC where I was one of the 'people' who were illegible to get a form..and I smiled wide while others watched in envy. I was ..correction.. AM in love with the North campus. What is there not to love about it. You enter into it and the feeling of campus begins. The roads..the market..the banta outlets..the metro..the rickshaw walla... Aaah.. I could go on forever.
So this basically gives you an idea that I had a mental battle going on between Hansraj and LSR. (had given up hopes of SRCC and Stephens way back).
LSR meant..a half hour drive. Amazing campus. Cool cafe. Great crowd.
Hansraj meant.. North Campus! ;)
Tch tch tch.. but see..the problem with us foolish homo sapience is that we forget that this life is NOT a bed of roses.
But for me it was..until I discovered the underlying thorns.
So after a month of partying, and celebrations and more partying the cut offs came out.
And..don't have much to say about it because I'm pretty sure everyone is aware of the bloody madness that is going on.
LSR- 95.50
Hansraj- 95.25
Hindu- 94.47
Gulp!
So i whined and complained and whined and complained and whined some more.But there isn't much I could do about it.
Like ayush said.. " Are u sad that you got LESS or sad that others got MORE?". I can;t really argue with that. :(
*When it's good, then it's good, it's so good, 'till it goes bad
Till you're trying to find the you that you once had
I have heard myself cry
Never again
Broken down in agony
And just trying to find a friend*
So,this leaves me college less!
I have gotten through Ramjas which you might say is not a bad college.
Let me shatter your illusion.
It's not a bad college...because.. It's a freaking Railway Station!! With dusty halls and lousy canteen and LOUD announcements which blast your ear lobes. And guys who stare at you ALL the time.*EWWWW*
There is NO way in hell that I'm ever going to THAT place.
If worst comes to worst I'm gonna bunk 3 years straight.And follow Nikita's advice.."Chill ya. Come to NSIT...we'll have fun.. you can sit in the garden..under the shade" :P
Basically, I'm desperately waiting for the 2nd list which comes on the 30th of this month.
And oh oh oh...The friend from Kuwait is back.And not for just a couple of days, but for 2 whole months! That's reason enough to party....as of NOW!
Lets just...hope for the best! :)
P.S.
R.I.P. Michael Jackson. :(
So..last you heard from me was that my SET (symbiosis entrance test) score was pathetic and I had whined and complained and grumbled. So, bascially, a LOT has changed since then.
22nd May brought with it a new ray of hope..(AHEM).
Okay, 22nd may brought with it the CBSE 2009 Board Result.To cut a long story short my best of four subjects is 94% (cool hun..? read on..) and I stood third in school with a 93%.
*Waits for an applause*
*Still waiting*....
*sighs! And gives up*
And with my ego inflated I proudly walked the halls of SRCC where I was one of the 'people' who were illegible to get a form..and I smiled wide while others watched in envy. I was ..correction.. AM in love with the North campus. What is there not to love about it. You enter into it and the feeling of campus begins. The roads..the market..the banta outlets..the metro..the rickshaw walla... Aaah.. I could go on forever.
So this basically gives you an idea that I had a mental battle going on between Hansraj and LSR. (had given up hopes of SRCC and Stephens way back).
LSR meant..a half hour drive. Amazing campus. Cool cafe. Great crowd.
Hansraj meant.. North Campus! ;)
Tch tch tch.. but see..the problem with us foolish homo sapience is that we forget that this life is NOT a bed of roses.
But for me it was..until I discovered the underlying thorns.
So after a month of partying, and celebrations and more partying the cut offs came out.
And..don't have much to say about it because I'm pretty sure everyone is aware of the bloody madness that is going on.
LSR- 95.50
Hansraj- 95.25
Hindu- 94.47
Gulp!
So i whined and complained and whined and complained and whined some more.But there isn't much I could do about it.
Like ayush said.. " Are u sad that you got LESS or sad that others got MORE?". I can;t really argue with that. :(
*When it's good, then it's good, it's so good, 'till it goes bad
Till you're trying to find the you that you once had
I have heard myself cry
Never again
Broken down in agony
And just trying to find a friend*
So,this leaves me college less!
I have gotten through Ramjas which you might say is not a bad college.
Let me shatter your illusion.
It's not a bad college...because.. It's a freaking Railway Station!! With dusty halls and lousy canteen and LOUD announcements which blast your ear lobes. And guys who stare at you ALL the time.*EWWWW*
There is NO way in hell that I'm ever going to THAT place.
If worst comes to worst I'm gonna bunk 3 years straight.And follow Nikita's advice.."Chill ya. Come to NSIT...we'll have fun.. you can sit in the garden..under the shade" :P
Basically, I'm desperately waiting for the 2nd list which comes on the 30th of this month.
And oh oh oh...The friend from Kuwait is back.And not for just a couple of days, but for 2 whole months! That's reason enough to party....as of NOW!
Lets just...hope for the best! :)
P.S.
R.I.P. Michael Jackson. :(
Friday, June 19, 2009
Without Love..
P.S. Read it somewhere and really liked it.So, just wanted to share it with you guys. :)
Without love, the gentle rains of spring shall cease.
The supple roses of summer wither.
And the soft, crisp winds of fall disappear.
Without love,there lies nothing,
But the passionless dusk of winter.
J. Kruyffe.
Without love, the gentle rains of spring shall cease.
The supple roses of summer wither.
And the soft, crisp winds of fall disappear.
Without love,there lies nothing,
But the passionless dusk of winter.
J. Kruyffe.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Because, We are Oh-So-Vella.
It's often the case that you realize the importance of something when it is taken away from you.
When I was in kalkaji, I lived really close to my cousins place..so hardly went over there. But now we all really wanted to meet up,and because all my tuition's,classes,entrances,exams etc. are over..we finally planned a sleepover. What was meant to be a short meeting resulted in my staying there for almost 4 days and we did the dumbest and the stupidest things ever. And obviously, had sooo much fun.And the amazing food was the cherry on the cake. What with the kadhai chicken and chocolate fantasy and the Lays and Kurukure at 3 in the morning.
Laughing non stop.
"Lets do something..something interesting..."
"Sorry ya..I'm straight"
"Your not straight..your curly!!"
"Have you ever been in an auto alone?"
"Ya ofcourse"
"Pgala.Auto walla nai hota kya?"
Bvnites v/s Amity and Airforce.
"Amity ki to cutting ho gayi..achhi wali!!"
"Yaar chup ho ja...ye ro padegi"
"Why is it called golden jublee...50 years baad name decide kiya tha kya?"
"Bas! kar di na amity wali baat."
Stupid pranks.
"Hello..I want frandship with you...Sahiba this side. Remember me?"
"Hello.Hello.Hello.Hello.Hello.Hello.Hello.Mu mei le lo."
"Abey! Phone rakh...massi aa gayi!!"
The photographs..the fights..the sleep-less nights..the arguments..the dancing..the teasing..everything!
Thank god for sisters. XD
When I was in kalkaji, I lived really close to my cousins place..so hardly went over there. But now we all really wanted to meet up,and because all my tuition's,classes,entrances,exams etc. are over..we finally planned a sleepover. What was meant to be a short meeting resulted in my staying there for almost 4 days and we did the dumbest and the stupidest things ever. And obviously, had sooo much fun.And the amazing food was the cherry on the cake. What with the kadhai chicken and chocolate fantasy and the Lays and Kurukure at 3 in the morning.
Laughing non stop.
"Lets do something..something interesting..."
"Sorry ya..I'm straight"
"Your not straight..your curly!!"
"Have you ever been in an auto alone?"
"Ya ofcourse"
"Pgala.Auto walla nai hota kya?"
Bvnites v/s Amity and Airforce.
"Amity ki to cutting ho gayi..achhi wali!!"
"Yaar chup ho ja...ye ro padegi"
"Why is it called golden jublee...50 years baad name decide kiya tha kya?"
"Bas! kar di na amity wali baat."
Stupid pranks.
"Hello..I want frandship with you...Sahiba this side. Remember me?"
"Hello.Hello.Hello.Hello.Hello.Hello.Hello.Mu mei le lo."
"Abey! Phone rakh...massi aa gayi!!"
The photographs..the fights..the sleep-less nights..the arguments..the dancing..the teasing..everything!
Thank god for sisters. XD
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Academy of Animation and Gaming.
P.S. This advertisement is solely on the request of my best friend.
About AAG.
AAG is among the first Animation Schools to offer high-end technical infrastructure in keeping with the demands of the industry,besides also being an authorized training center for auto desk.The Academy combines professional-quality graduation level foundation training in art in a nurturing creative environment,with hands-on-high-end software training.
Please click on the link below for further information and contact details.
http://www.aag.edu.in/
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Seriously?
Yesterday I found out that Paris Hilton is looking for her BFF (Best friend forever) through a reality TV show.Don't believe me? It's actually true.I thought this was the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard..UNTIL..
I found out that THE Rakhi Sawant is looking for a prospective GROOM on a reality TV show.
I mean seriously? SERIOUSLY??!!
I found out that THE Rakhi Sawant is looking for a prospective GROOM on a reality TV show.
I mean seriously? SERIOUSLY??!!
Friday, May 15, 2009
What do you believe in?
The moment I woke up this morning I knew its best to just stock up on chocolates and caffeine and stay under the covers all day long.
Such brooding because its one of those days when you know that every thing is going to go wrong.
But despite everything, I fought my instincts and tripped my way to the washroom. So what makes this day such a disaster? Well, nothing so complex. Just that I got my SET (Symbiosis Entrance Test) Score today. Got a 99/150 (you might think that its not that bad,but trust me,it is). The score on the whole does not trouble my much..what I'm freaking pissed off about is, my quant score. Its 22/40. Quant is a fancy name for maths..! I don't think I need to elaborate..because 22/40?? You have gotta be kidding me!
And then all the... "You don't even wanna go to Pune" stuff started. And someone goes like..trust God,and trust your destiny.
And though this may sound appalling,but do I really believe in God and destiny? I know you must have started judging me because I doubted the existence of God.No, don't get me wrong.. I'm not really questioning the existence of God or Almighty..i'm just questioning my belief in destiny...fate.
Elders always keep telling us to do our best and leave the rest.. That we'll end up where we are destined to..and that everything good or bad happens for the best.
Sometimes I think it's complete bull..
But today..I know. That if I don't believe in destiny,and fate..and God for that matter..then my believing anything else,doesn't really matter. Destiny, is all i have.
Such brooding because its one of those days when you know that every thing is going to go wrong.
But despite everything, I fought my instincts and tripped my way to the washroom. So what makes this day such a disaster? Well, nothing so complex. Just that I got my SET (Symbiosis Entrance Test) Score today. Got a 99/150 (you might think that its not that bad,but trust me,it is). The score on the whole does not trouble my much..what I'm freaking pissed off about is, my quant score. Its 22/40. Quant is a fancy name for maths..! I don't think I need to elaborate..because 22/40?? You have gotta be kidding me!
And then all the... "You don't even wanna go to Pune" stuff started. And someone goes like..trust God,and trust your destiny.
And though this may sound appalling,but do I really believe in God and destiny? I know you must have started judging me because I doubted the existence of God.No, don't get me wrong.. I'm not really questioning the existence of God or Almighty..i'm just questioning my belief in destiny...fate.
Elders always keep telling us to do our best and leave the rest.. That we'll end up where we are destined to..and that everything good or bad happens for the best.
Sometimes I think it's complete bull..
But today..I know. That if I don't believe in destiny,and fate..and God for that matter..then my believing anything else,doesn't really matter. Destiny, is all i have.
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