I've been thinking..

..And mind you,this isn't something i do very often. But last night,while sitting on the beanbag, coffee mug in my hand, eyes on the telly..my mind started wandering.I don't know where this came from..but I started thinking of Life..and Death.And what I was wondering about was..Why do we fear Death so much?

This thought reminded me of Calpurnia's dream and Caesars words which were meant to be an explanation.

"It seems to me most strange that men should fear;
Seeing that death,a necessary end,
Will come when it will come."


There is so much truth in these words. In life, we always fear the uncertain..the future..of which we know nothing. And it is justifiable..to fear the unseen.Throughout our life,we do not know what will come next.

But the only thing that we are absolutely sure about is..Death.

"The one who is born..has to die someday."

The only certain and inevitable thing in our life is its end.Then,why do we fear something that is so certain?

Something to think about..Isn't it?

For once..

Let me be who I want to be,
and not what you want from me.

Let me say what I reckon should be said,
and don't seal my lips because you think its incorrect.

Let me think what I want to,
and don't restrict or control my mind.

Let me write what I think is right,
and not what is politically correct.

Let me walk as I want to,
and not how others want me to.

Let me believe what i want to,
and don't tell me that its wrong.

Let me feel,hope and desire,
and don't force your feelings on me.

Let me fall and rise on my own,
and trust me to learn from the bruises.

Let me enjoy how I want to,
and don't mock me because its different.

Let me dream and wonder,
and don't wake me up even if its unreal.

Let me learn and explore,
and don't teach me what others 'think' should be taught.

Let me jump..and scream and shout,
and don't hold me back.

Let me live how I wish to live,
and don't judge me if its unlike the rest of our kind.

The One That Has No Title

I'm broke but I'm happy
I'm poor but I'm kind
I'm short but I'm healthy, yeah
I'm high but I'm grounded
I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed
I'm lost but I'm hopeful baby
What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be fine fine fine
'cause I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a high five ..


Somehow, really like this song. Because no matter what shit i get into i just know i'm gonna be quite allright and thats because of all the losers I know since the 8th grade..( a few of them,came a lil later).

Long time back Abhi had asked me to write about my friends,and though thats my favorite topic to blabber about,i was at a loss of words..and hence he had to do the needful (refer FB) and everyone saw how amazing it turned out. And again I'm not here to write about my friends..well i am but not really to describe them or how much i love them..actually i don't really know why I'm here.

Warning:Just another meaningless random post.


As i sit here, typing out my thoughts..i gaze at the most amazing Valentines gife I've ever received. Yes,the oh-so-awesome Dostana collage Naman gifted me. A picture really does have the ability to speak a thousand words..because every picture has a thousand memories with it which come alive instantly. Though we wern't the best of friends initially..but those silly senti messages did mean a lot..and dumbo you know that very well.

Every time i start my laptop..the wallpaper comes into view..PVR saket..24th March.. My sweetheart's 18th birthday.
All the lovers talks with Pepsi ..our farewell dance,11th and 12th and every little thing just tells me that this is gonna last forever.Remember those confession messages we had one night?Hehe..babe you will always remain my first love.


My phone buzzes and here's another message from Ayush..'Abe oye..online aa abhi!!'.. well..I don't know why but i think we argue more than we talk and I love that part of our friendship.Everytime the subject of slamsheets would come up..very casually he would say..'Yaar, we are gonna remain friends hamesha..what is the use of a slamsheet then'. It used to irritate me like hell..but i know thats true..
The innumerable times I've said..i don't wanna talk..mood off hai.. he always comes up with something silly to make me laugh.
p.s. He's actually a girl :P



Another picture on my table is that of Me and Aarohan.. my birthday present.. :)..and along the picture the words read Best friends...Amu and Abhi. Everytime i have the teeny meeniest of trouble..i know who to call..and there he is saying stuff like..'tu pagal hai..tension mat le..mai hoon na..' and i know...tu hai..that you are always there and you'll always be..and this feeling makes me so much stronger.
But sahi bol raha hai...apni kismat mei milna nahi likha..! :P..I love you..and you know that!



I switch on facebook and some comment by Shivam comes into view. Yeah,the same guy who made me run the 1500 m race..and there is no one in this world who could have done that.He came really late into my circle of friends..and is gonna be here forever.By the way,this post is for you! :)
His silly shayari..and long messages..and everytime he says..'bas tu mujhe chor de sab' just tells me that this guy is gonna be there..with me..through all the troubles of my complicated life.
You mean..a lot!!
And our icecream is due..! :)



"I dont know how to say it..but i love you..okay?"
Trust Nikita to say the sweetest of things in the simplest of ways...yaar you know me even better than i know myself..and writing here is kindof just a formality..
Seems your the only one who knows...what its like to be me..someone to face the day with..make it through all the rest with....
Hum aapse pyaar karte hain...ekdum sachha pyaar! Haha!
The walks..back from the school..the ice cream..the teasing..the late night msgs..the oh-so-dumb fights..
Your my BFF..best friend forever..you are gonna have to deal with me,good luck with that!



You..can read my mind..most of the time. You finish my sentences..you take my case more than anyone I know.. but still..because of some insane reason..I love you..
My another BFF..Pragya the second formality..hehe...
Dunno how many times she's made to stop crying or fed sense into my head..or has saved me from 'ulte per' hehe..I so wish i could just go back to school again cause life will never ever be the same..wishout you..sitting beside me in the class..and making fun of me!:)



Well well..When I think of a dance partner..i think of you.When I think of a picture partner,i think of you.When I want someone to remind something to me...err..i NEVER think of you..Cause.. you are the world's greatest bhopu..well the last and final formality..Drishti.
Cant remember the last time we were together..and we werent laughing.We are the masters of dumbness.
You my BFF will also have to deal with me for a really really really long time..
I love you so and i want you to know that i'll always be right here.......


"Well,naman was asking me about you,so i just told him ki hum dono carbon copies hain" ..Thus said Shimanti to me once..and undoubtedly,shes absolutely correct. So when i'm somewhere..brroding about something,this Bengauli babe comes to my rescue. We may go days without talking or updating each other..but every time my heart aches..she's always been there to ease the pain.
I miss you..so much.
P.s. Remember the 'song' conversation we had once? Still makes me laugh when i think bout it.

If i wanted your opinion,i would just ask.

It was a fairly normal day. Slept late,hence got up late and hence got late for class (mind you, this IS normal for me).

Skipped breakfast..no time, Skipped lunch.. didn't like it, nibbled on tit bits, dozed off for a while and was just lazing around until someone turned up at my place and ruined my nearly perfect bored and lazy mood.

The person in question over here is one of mom's friends. And after the usual formalities of Hi ,Hello, the inevitable question of "What are you doing aaj kal beta?" followed.

Me: Aunty, I've joined couching for BBA entrance, it's just a back up thing though.

Aunty JI (courtesy never killed anybody): Hmmmm... achha..kahan se??

Me: I've joined IMS ..aunty, Sector 2.

Aunty JI: Okay, So what are you actually planning then?

Me: I'm planning ECO (hns.) from a good college in DU, if my percentage allows that to happen. Otherwise, i'm gonna give the entrance for Symbi and CBS.

Aunty JI (now addressing my mom) : You know, my daughter had also planned that..the usual SRCC se ECO aur phir MBA, but after her result she's now doing a BA programme from LSR and she's very happy. Your daughter will waste her 3 years slogging and slogging doing ECO and ultimately she will enter finance..and my daughter doing the same thing..finance..par bada easily.

Aunty JI smugs and Amanat leaves!


I'm just gonna say.. Opinions are like assholes,every body has one!

That Thing You Do!

RULES:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.

: Well,there are about 9 songs in my playlist,so i'll just switch over to my iPod.



HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Accidentally in love (??) [Counting crows]


WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Hot 'n' cold [Katy Perry]


HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Know nothing [A lot like love]


WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
You're Beautiful [James Blunt]


WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
Pop! Goes my heart [Music and Lyrics]


WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
This is how you remind me (!!) [Nickelback]


WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
So Sick [Ne-Yo]


WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Skater Boy [Avril Lavigne]


WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
I don't wanna miss a thing [Aerosmith] (... :D )


WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Just a ride [Jem]


WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
The Reason [Hoobastank]


WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Numb [Linkin Park]


WHAT WILL/DID YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
When you say nothing at all [Ronan Keating]


WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Girlfriend [Avril Lavigne] (Haha! Only if i were alive! :P )


WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Ocean size love [ :) ] [Leigh Nash]


WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
She Will Be Loved [Maroon 5]


WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
Follow Me [Uncle Kracker]


WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Crash and Burn [Savage Garden]


WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
That Thing You Do [Wonders]


Oh my god, some of that stuff was so accurate,it freaked me out!

Count down.

No real reason behind this post. I'm just bored of facebook games.

1- Is the number of pictures I've edited using photoshop. [Hey! Don't judge me,I'm new to this]

2- Is the number of siblings that i have.

3- Is the number of movies that I've seen since 10 a.m. [I didn't have a class today,theres not much to do at home. *sighs* ]

4- Is the number of books that I've read in the past week. *Pats back*

5- Is the number of pets i want. [Dogs actually.. woof woof!]

6- Is the number of times that my mom has shouted at me since morning, asking me to study. [Haha, I'm stubborn]

7- Is the grade i miss the most. *Sighs again*

8- Is the number of countries i wish to visit before I'm 25.

9- Is the number of songs in my current play list.. :)

10- Is the number of days,after which I'm meeting my best friends.


Phew! This is NOT as easy at it looks.

How little it takes...

A mug of hot coffee..
Drizzling.
Good news from a far off friend..
'Time of your life': on repeat. :)
A long conversation with Siamese..
And a message from you..

That's all it takes to put me in the right mood..! :D

"It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right."

A few special bonds..don't need time.

I've always been fond of pets,dogs in particular and little teeny-tiny puppies to be very specific.So needless to say,when a street dog in our locality gave birth to half a dozen puppies, i was all over them.I mean seriously,i would pet them for hours..feed them..run slowly so that they would catch up (this is when they were almost a month old and hence the running).

But yesterday,one of them..which was my lil sister's favorite one,passed away.His death is still a mystery.He wasn't weak at all,and he had been fine just a couple of hours ago.But the bottom line is that he is not here anymore.My sister had even named him and though she was inconsolable..my heart ached.

It wasnt our pet,and i had personally known it for just 3 days but something inside me ached a lot.I fear losing people/things a lot.It's something i can't even talk about.So what i'm trying to say it..that you dont need time to bond with a living thing..some things or people ...simply touch your heart.

R.I.P. Daniel.
We miss you.

Miss Independent

Yes, You guessed it right.

The BORE-DS (puns intended) are over.And i prefer not to talk about it..at all. I feel un-caged,as if i can breathe again. I know this sounds pretty far fetched but there are thousands of teen's who know exactly what i'm talking about. So besides updating my blog,i do have a couple other things to catch up on.
So..here goes my TO-DO list.Not in any specific order of priority.Enjoy! :P

1.Watch every movie i can get my hands on.I dont care if its as corny as CC2C or as boring as Billu,i just need to catch up on everything.

2.Read. Finally,i can do unlimited of one thing that i love (besides writing ofcourse). I'll need Siamese help on this one.And if any one of you have any good suggestions regarding books (fiction/non-fiction/non-boring/non-Shakespeare),please leave it as a comment,i would really appreciate that.

3.Learn to drive.Considering i abandoned my scooty after two weeks,this is goona be tough.Good luck dad.

4.Clear up the clutter.This is number one on my mom's list.My room is FULL of junk.Old newspapers,books,wrappers,pizza boxes,pamphlets,candy's,chocolates,chips packets hidden here and there.Its a complete mess.And don't even get me started on my jammed cupboards.

5.Fill up slam sheets.Well,i have been avoiding it partly because i didn't have that much time and party because when i give away the slam sheets,i'll kinda have to deal with the fact that we all are parting.

6.Learn to play the guitar.You must be thinking ,hey whats new about that?Everyone plays a guitar.But this is something i really wanna do.And yeah, i wanna learn salsa or jazz.

7.Sleep. A routine of 4-5 hours of sleep has messed me up.I slept at 3lastnight after watching a movie and got up around 9,when i didn't even have any studying to do.I have gotta start becoming lazy!!

8.READ the newspaper.And this does not include The Delhi Times and What's Hot.Well this is party because mom has been bugging me to start reading economic times (because i have commerce subjects) and partly because i really really need to get myself updated on what is happening in this world.

9.Update the blog at least once a week.My blog is over an year old and the poor thing just has 40 posts.This just makes me sad.I need to start posting total bull-shit more often.;)

10.Make sleepover plans with siamese.Yay! I'm really excited about the bitcha-ing sessions.

11.Make birthday presents.Well..Bengauli's present is due..and Abhi's birthday is coming up..and day after is Pepsi's birthday.Phew!I really need to get a start on this one.And if anyone has any ideas about somthing i can make and something that isn't explosive or anything like that,please lemme know.

12.Watch the entire grey's anatomy and friends series.

13.Visit my grandparents..cousins..aunts and uncles!! Miss em..! :(

14.Select the pictures to be printed and start working on the picture album.

15.Renew the play list.For god's sake I'm sick of these songs,i need a change.

16.Shop! shop! and Shop! Well..I'm a girl,what else do you expect from me?

Well,i guess i'm pretty much set for a couple of weeks.I'll keep adding as and when something new comes up.

I don't remember..

The last time i danced in the rain...

The last time i sat in the balcony..and sipped hot coffee..

The last time i slept in my grandma's lap..

The last time i became a kid..with a kid..

The last time i hugged someone..and cried..

The last time i told someone i really cared bout,that i loved them..

The last time i really believed in something..

The last time i read a random book and was inspired by it..

The last time a saw a movie..that touched me..

The last time i barged into a friends house,just cause i was lonely..

The last time i was silent but i still got all my answers..

The last time i wrote a letter to my pen pal..

And..the last time..i left alive.